Nobody Like You

Who wouldn’nobody Like You want a job where you only have to work five hours a week, you get summers off, your whole job is reading and talking about books, and you can never be fired? Such is the enviable life of the tenured college literature professor, and all you have to do to get it is earn a Ph.

So perhaps you, literature lover, are considering pursuing this path. I deeply regret going to graduate school, but not, Ron Rosenbaum, because my doctorate ruined books and made me obnoxious. Granted, maybe it did: My dissertation involved subjecting the work of Franz Kafka to first-order logic. You might think your circumstances will be different. Alas,” said the mouse, “the world gets smaller every day.

At first it was so wide that I ran along and was happy to see walls appearing to my right and left, but these high walls converged so quickly that I’m already in the last room, and there in the corner is the trap into which I must run. But you’ve only got to run the other way,” said the cat, and ate it. The mouse wasn’t going in the wrong direction so much as it was walking cat food the entire time. Because Pannapacker is a tenured professor.